Most of this blog is just about me, telling what I do, why, and how I do it, as well as some history as to how this all came to be.
But some of you are here because I said you could
find info about a dangerous predator and sociopath —
a guy who often posts lies about me, accusing me basically of
doing the things he actually does trying to get close to kids.
So three paragraphs all about him first, with a link to follow,
then read on about me if you wish.
He goes by a lot of names…the first I knew him by was Danny
…Gay Boy Central …GayBoysTube …PedoWatchman …RiseAboveTheGay
…Josh ForeverAsking …and many more…
I have consolidated all the proof about “Danny” the
predator, using (stolen) fake photos, and approaching teens
sexually in this blog post: http://wp.me/p3nYC8-1B
The Truth about Philipem1000:
Who I Am, What I Do on YouTube, How, and Why
Who I Am
This photo is really me! And you can see me in a video on my YT channel too.
I am in my sixties, a retired business man and Air Force veteran.
I am also a trained crisis intervention specialist (but not a licensed or certified counselor or mental health professional) with years of volunteer work in peer counseling programs (as peer counselor, trainer, and program executive director) and as a listener on crisis hotlines. I’ve been doing this kind of thing since I was a college student. I also was a foster/adopt parent and had a lot of training in working with troubled youth as part of that. And I’m a father and grandfather.
After I retired I did four years volunteer work at my local LGBT community center; and now volunteer at an organization that provides education, prevention, & supporting services to HIV+ people.
What I Do
I had a YT Channel for years that was focused on gay oriented videos, for adults. Not porn, I looked for videos that had humor or drama or some good elements that enhanced any sexiness. Nothing involving youth. It was in the early days of YT and no one cared if you reposted ‘dead’ videos, or ‘orphan’ videos from obviously abandoned channels — if I could find a really interesting video like that I’d put it on my channel just so it would get some views. I wasn’t into making my own content, I just looked for worthy abandoned content to repost.
(That’s not OK these days of course, and technically it never was…but I never got a complaint from any copyright holder and such things got little attention in those days.) Since that time and given how the channel works today, I have some rules that apply to every video on the channel; they are posted in the supplementary info near the end of this blog.
I never intended to have any contact with kids other than my grandchildren and did not repost any videos with youth content…but one day I saw the marvelous coming out video of Abe (Abeybaby1221). Abe’s video at that point was ‘abandoned’ as he was off of YT for at least six months, with no accounts open as far as I could tell; but at least a half dozen different channels had his videos posted.
[Someone gave me a message which seemed to genuinely be from Abe, but I later learned it was faked. When I knew that Abe did not want his videos posted I removed them immediately; he has however expressed gratitude that they accomplished so much good while they were posted. Other sites still have them up without his permission. I do not talk directly to Abe.]
I put it up on my YT channel; and ended up with a million hits (literally). He was the very first youth I featured on my channel. Almost immediately I got requests from other kids to post their videos too.
Eventually that became the model of operation of the channel. Kids who have their videos hosted on my channel usually get a substantial boost in viewers and subscriptions as result –which doesn’t happen when they get shared on the channel– and that is often why they do it; and they join other youth in a central collection of videos that they tell me is very helpful to them.
I would like to point out that I do have some adults and older folks who come out or who ask to be posted too. Some great stories there. But of course most of the people coming out or seeking others out or needing help are young, especially on YouTube.
A few kids just will not appear on my channel, for various reasons, mostly because they are too fragile, vulnerable, or engaged in really risky behavior. I told them no or didn’t ask them for permission to post their videos even though they would probably be popular.
I started to get huge volumes of email and PMs from kids. As many as five thousand a week. Some of them thought I was Abe, some did not, but many of them were seeking help of one sort or another.
I found myself using my crisis intervention skills a lot. I quickly realized I couldn’t do it all and looked for places to which I could refer kids.
How I Do It
So I did find, and do refer all kids to legitimate help programs. Most kids just want to find others to talk to; I send them to TheQYC.com (which got so many they invited me to become an admin and did a background check to be sure I had no criminal record). Some have serious issues; I send them to the Trevor Project. If they give specific information I may send them to a local LGBT center if appropriate, or find other reliable helping programs.
When a kid presents as suicidal and won’t make a commitment or take actions to be safe, I have had to call schools or police to intervene. Sadly sometimes I don’t know enough about the kid to know who to call or where to send them.
What I do not do is form relationships or at least seek to form them; a few have become friends. A few do talk to me. All contacts are documented, chat logs are saved — and preserved on servers anyway, etc. I have however met only one kid in person, and that entirely by accident — I ran into him on the street corner as I walked with a friend to a bar. I said hello and kept walking.
After a while I completely changed my channel and made it a youth focused channel; and kids asked me to put up their videos on the channel. Sometimes subscribers pointed me to kids who would fit the channel well. Every kid, even those who approached me to put up their videos, got a message with appropriate warnings of the bad (and good) things that can happen as result of being seen on my channel and let them decide what to do. Upon request their videos are removed. The videos belong to them after all.
Are there pedophiles among my subs? For sure. If I know, if they make inappropriate comments for example, I block them. But (as Danny has shown) multiple fake accounts are a fact of life and unless they misbehave there is no way for me to know who they are. They would find these kids channels (or others) anyway; I figure if a kid is on my channel there are also a lot of good people watching out for him or her. I know they have been given good resources and solid advice.
Every comment on every kid’s video on my channel is approved by me before it appears on the video. When the channel was growing fast I was reviewing hundreds of messages a day, a thousand and more a week. I spent 20 hours a week on the channel and more. At one point I asked kids who seemed stable and solid to talk to kids who were NOT in crisis but needed to talk to someone. (I haven’t done that in quite a while, the kids are eager to do it but I am not getting the volume of messages and I developed the other referrals.)
I can’t do it any more, I’m getting old, but in the past, every time I see a youth comment on my channel or its videos, I send that kid a referral message — to Trevor Project, the QYC, and suicide hotlines everywhere. That message is copied below.
I have a video posted telling kids how to spot fakes. That’s the only video of me I put on the channel because the channel is about other people not me.
Why I Do It
The channel has helped many kids by collecting such great videos (this is what kids and adults have told me) and offering such good role models and a place where kids can seek information or meet other kids. I know lives are saved as result. I know that for a fact; which is why I continue to do this.
And as far as I know no kid I talked to or helped has lost their struggle.
The Rules I apply about videos I post
1. EVERY VIDEO on my YouTube channel is shown with EXPLICIT PERMISSION OF THE MAKER OF THAT VIDEO; full disclosure is made in advance. NO videos are ‘stolen’ in any sense of that word.
2. VIDEOS ARE ALWAYS REMOVED UPON REQUEST OF THE MAKER IMMEDIATELY. I do not own the videos; I host them by revokable permission. If someone leaves YouTube I normally do not remove their videos, however, if I know they are going I ask them if I can keep it up.
3. ALL COMMENTS ARE SUBJECT TO PRIOR REVIEW AND APPROVAL BY ME (except videos of adults, and even on some of those.) I DO NOT ALLOW UNKIND COMMENTS because the channel is about SUPPORT AND POSITIVITY.
please note: this has not been updated since about July 2013,
minor changes have been made to the letters sent out including
New services that are included in referrals
I AM ADULT AND SAY SO: I SEND KIDS TO SAFE PLACES
I send this information to kids who make certain kinds of comments on the vids at my channel, either for their own benefit or their friends’. Just so you know, I myself am an adult, not a kid.
If you are looking for friends or someone to talk with, suggest you try one of these great sites:
– The Queer Youth Community is a safe place for youth 13-21 and the forums are open to youth as young as 11; http://www.theQYC.com
–TrevorSpace is a social networking site for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies. Use TrevorSpace to connect with other young people throughout the country; make new friends; find support; learn how to get involved in your local LGBTQ community keep abreast of news pertaining to LGBTQ youth. Also if there is a LGBT center near you, call them to find about local gay youth programs
– On Facebook there are several groups that name themselves after Abe, Abeybaby1221; the only one I can recommend is “Friends of Abeybaby1221” (Abe does not belong to any of them); I moderate that group along with another adult.
If you are having an emergency or feel suicidal in the US please call the Trevor Project 866-488-7386 or 911 in the US (999 in the UK or your local emergency number)!! More info at http://www.facebook.com/TheTrevorProject
International Suicide assistance: http://suicidehotlines.com/international.html and search for your country. HELP IS AVAILABLE.
In addition there are a number of kids who have posted vids or allowed them to be uploaded on the site. Many of them would be happy to talk to other kids about the challenges facing LGBTQ Youth.
I GIVE KIDS AN INFORMED CHOICE ABOUT BEING ON THE CHANNEL
My name is Phil, I am an adult, and I run the channel philipem1000
I am interested in featuring a video of you if you are interested. The purpose of the channel these days is to provide a central place for LGBT kids to express themselves, thought it is not restricted to kids only, nor to LGBT youth.
Normally I would take a video from your channel (with your permission) and post it at mine. Experience shows that gets the most viewers and subs for your channel and for your video, though I can just fave it and it will get a bit of notice.
Why should you do that?
Well you’ll probably get new subscribers, and share your story with more people. That’s really the best reason, sharing, because your story is bound to affect someone, to help someone. And there’s nothing wrong with getting more subs either.
I always link people back to the original channel when I post a video so they can go see your other stuff and if they want, to contact you directly. I ask that you occasionally check the comments on any video posted on my channel and respond.
And I will of course remove your video any time you ask.
I saw people gain as many as 300 subs in a day, though in truth all I do is bring you to people’s attention and then its what is on the video that makes them decide to subscribe. I’ll be honest, looks and personality as shown in your video count. But everyone I’ve featured gets more views and subscribers. And there are many quality videos; people will find yours this way.
** Most importantly though, your story probably will help someone else…! **
Why should you not do that?
Well, you’ll probably hear from more pedos, trolls, and haters. 😦 BUT on my channel (and I recommend on yours) the videos are set so that I have to approve comments before they appear. This way I see any nasty stuff and eliminate it; but they will know who you are and can go to your channel.
If you are afraid of being out at school or home, there is a small chance this would help that happen. But talk to me about just how likely that is…I can show you it doesn’t often happen and possibly how to avoid it… If you are using your real name or a name or nickname or handle by which people do know you, then there is a much higher possibility that they will find a video posted on my channel or a ‘coming out’ video under your name. I really recommend that you use a real first name and a made up last name or some other form of identity on your channel that people in your real life don’t know, if you are not ready to be totally out.
So please check it out, and let me know if you are interested.
Finally, below my signature I will include some info that I send to all kids under 18 who post comments on my channel; YOU may not need this but then again you may or you may know someone who does…
– – – – – – – – – –
Detecting and Preventing Fakes
Fakes are everywhere even today…
I’ve been online since before the Internet existed, and from the very first time people began to use computers to connect on a personal level, there have been fakes. In some ways fakes may be healthy, it gives us a chance to experience a different life and way of being. It lets us express things we don’t think we can as ourselves. Sometimes fakes are better people than those who portray them, it allows us to be better than we really are… It’s not all bad but…
Fakes can become emotionally very close to us, and then we feel badly betrayed. Some fakes obviously use us emotionally or in other ways. It is far better to have a real relationship with a real person. And many people use their faking to manipulate others for various purposes…
How to protect yourself
You don’t have to distrust everyone all the time. If you do find yourself getting emotionally close to someone, you need to know who they are. The first thing is that you should skype or video chat with them if at all possible. That will help you to verify their age and gender though some people look different, at least it’s a start.
If you cannot do that, ask WHY? Some people don’t have the technology or they do have a lack of privacy or level of risk of discovery that prevent this.
But these days EVERYONE has a camera to take a photo they can email. So make up a word and ask them to send you a photo holding a sign with that word, within a few hours. I found out that if you give them too much time someone might be persuaded to send THEM such a photo which they can then forward to you as proof of who they are.
Change the word for each person. If too much time goes by give them another word. If they can’t manage to get this to you, you are dealing with a fake. Accept no excuses. If they can’t send you proof now, don’t get closer, or make yourself vulnerable.
Even the photo is just a first step, video chat itself isn’t proof enough. It will tell you what they look and sound like, not if the stories they tell you are real. So you must listen and when you hear a contradiction or things that just don’t make sense, pay attention. We all do some things like that it’s not proof, but it is a warning
Most of all don’t ignore your gut feelings. Is this person too good to be true? Is there an inordinate amount of drama in this person’s life? OK sometimes there is and its real but people who have constant drama are either having a big hand in creating it or are making it up. Expect to have a lot of drama in your relationship with them. Ask whether it is a relationship that makes you grow better and happier — both of you – or the opposite. Don’t stay with the opposite even if it is a real person.
Don’t refuse to trust, but don’t trust blindly, Trust but verify is the attitude you should take, And when someone isn’t being logical or offering reasonable proof of themselves, then be skeptical.
It took me about 3 minutes to make the sign, snap the shot, upload it.
Danny hasn’t done this ever.